I have been feeling very alone lately. Not that I don't have people around me that love me or are encouraging but the pain isolates me. I hate to lie and say 'I am fine' when I want to say 'I am so down and can't wait for answers any longer, please need me as I feel so worthless', not a great mommy/friend/daughter of Christ statement. A break down and sleep last night helped a ton. Trying different pain meds is helping too.
I want to be normal and go to a movie without thinking will the pain be too much or have to sleep after a 8 hour morning. I know that answers are right around the corner. I have my MRI on Thursday and hope that brings results.
Still working on patience.
2 comments:
Pain does that. Knowing you are in pain, we should ask, "How is the pain today?" Meaningful questions. Real questions. I'm sorry we just pass you and say, "hi, how are you?" Instead we should be stopping, looking in your eyes, and hugging you!
I understand where you are. I've been dealing with the pain and the aloneness since losing my job in March. Seems my back isn't bouncing back like it used to in the past, and for the exception of about 5 or 6 weeks, I've been in unbelievable pain for 4 months and just sit here like a blob, doing just about nothing.
It does start to wear on your self esteem, and your sense of worth for certain.
I've taken to watch what I put into my mind during these times. I am careful what shows I select to watch on TV. I'm trying to read more books by Christian authors, and I often have KTIS playing very softly in the background, to fill my home with His Word- in the form of praise and worship music.
Hang in there, Brenda. You're still the amazing you that God made you to be- your body is just on vacation. :)
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