Roam if You Want To

I have only done a few crazy spontaneous things in my life. To some my life has been a series of crazy but it is actually kind of mild. I want to do something crazy. (not mentally crazy or anything)

I want to go on a roadtrip with girlfriends or try something new or see something I haven't seen before. I want to go dancing with my husband, sing in front of people, stay up late and not get tired, go to a play, watch the stars, many many thoughts right now.

I know that this feeling will pass and hopefully my stone will too. I just like to dream sometimes. I think it is fun and dreaming is often enough for me.

There Goes My Life

What a difference 16 years make. This is a country song and it speaks to me. I never thought having my daughter so young was the end of my life but the beginning but now it is getting tougher to let go. A friend of mine had a picture from her spring break that is very much like the one here and had the same thought Steve and I had, how fast they grow up.

People are Strange

You ever realize how strange people are when you are tired. I mean, they are strange to begin with but when your mind is a bit fuzzy they are all the more strange. I noticed the way someone laughed today. I am sure I have noticed it before but today it seems like I am having an out of body experience and it was almost spooky to hear this laugh. Almost like you heard it in a nightmare before. I think I must be half asleep. Lunch will help I am sure.
This month has gone by so fast. I blinked and it is halfway gone. I hope that summer comes soon but don't want it to go by too fast. Will try to enjoy each moment after a nap today. ;)

Trust and Obey

I was getting really tired. Man, it is tiring carrying the whole weight of the world on your shoulders. I didn't think I could hold it anymore and then it fell. It dropped on the ground into millions of pieces. All I could think was "I did that, all by myself, I broke the whole world, WHAT A LOSER I am." I looked down in despair and cried.
Then I felt something, more than a feeling almost like a still small voice saying "Look at Me, Look at Me, Brenda." I looked up. The voice continued, "Look it is only a drop of water and I will help you clean it up. I carry the weight of the world and I will never give you anything more than you can handle. I am always with You, keep looking to Me, keeping reading My Book, keep laying it at My feet. I love you."

Why do I think that I am alone, abandoned, unforgivable, unlovable? I know that those are my weaknesses. To turn on myself and I need to keep looking up, looking to God, listening to God, studying His Word and love as He has told me to do and the rest will and always does fall into place. How often I forget that it is He, not I that has the world.