Who Says You're Not Perfect

You know who says this to me mostly - me. I am having one of those days that I just am not good enough. I am actually joyful that I am a bit down because I was numb for a bit and hoping I wasn't truly past the point of help without some sort of intervention but now that I am sad, after being cranky, I know I am ok. You see if I care enough to change my emotions or work through them then I am still feeling, thinking, understanding myself. It is when I don't care, don't feel just exist that I become my own worst problem.

So, here I am, one month into summer, knowing God is in control as I have not felt like my 'job' as a mother has been compromised by my other 'job'. I am happy, just need to look past a few things that have been hurting me, holding me prisoner a bit. I need to be ok with people not seeing me for who I really am or for what I could be. I need to be ok with people not liking me all that much or talking bad about me. I am ok with those things but they are wearing me down today. Nothing a 4 day weekend won't cure right?

For the Sake of the Call

Praying for these guys!!

Heartbreaker

I am broken which, for the first time in my life, I am ok with. I am not having a meltdown, or going into some spiral of self loathing. I am just broken.

Most of the things I am broken about are about other people. People I love, want to protect, want to not be broken, but they are too. I know all I can do is pray for them, that is it. I can't change the pain they are going through. I can't fix it. I can pray and listen if they need to talk.

Right now there are so many thoughts going through my head. Different scenarios of how these situations will end and none of them end with me fixing it. Good thing to keep in mind tonight.

Because You Loved Me

I like Celine Dion on certain days of the week. Not all days. Not all weeks but this song makes me think of God's love. It is His love that makes me strong, that makes me unafraid, that makes glad, that makes me love.

I know that there are many terrible things that we as people do. We are mean, selfish, greedy, and uncaring. The last one is what I need to process today. How can we as people not care for other people? I mean we all want to be cared for or at least not be treated badly, rudely or ignored. Why would we do that to other people? Why don't we treat them like we want to be treated?

I am flawed in this often, mostly with children and my patience level, but sometimes when I am in a hurry, stuck in myself and my goals, I miss people. I don't even take time to say hello. I need to be better and challenge those around me to better at this. You never know what person just needs to be acknowledge, said 'hi' to and how are you doing. You can make their day, month, even year to know someone looked at them and that they are not invisible.

This is my challenge to myself.

I'm Still Standing

Just really in a good place in the midst of what seems like a storm in my life. Constant winds of change and these are few reasons I stay sane...