We are His Hands - Children of the Lord

I have been shown so much love and care from the people of the Lord and who He has allowed me to be know and cherish. I am in awe and thank all those who are allowing Him to bless me through you! It is so very humbling to ask and receive things but what a blessed experience.

Forever Young

(Picture is NLA Choir Tour 1990)

I am so glad that I am older and a wee bit wiser at almost 36. I had a moment of flashback as I watched my 15 year old daughter at her homecoming concert from choir tour and there I was 15, tired, excited and inspired. Not that I can't be tired, excited and inspired now but life was so fresh, so new, and so important at that time. I loved my high school experience and all the friends and all the adventures I had and it is fun to see my daughter having fun!

I also got to see my 9 year old play the piano at a recital and my 10 year old dance like Michael Jackson, we did not name him after him by the way. It was a good week.

My health is still on the waiting list but now I am going to get it fixed. We found something that the last 3 Dr.'s have overlooked at my visit to my urologist and now I have somewhere to begin to see the end of my pain that keeps me up all hours and never goes away. That makes me excited and at the end, when the pain is gone, I know I will feel younger than I do right now!

So Tired, Tired of Waiting

I am up at 3:46 am with my phantom pains. I am not as discouraged as I was a few days ago but in pain and getting old waiting for some relief. It should come or something major will happen not sure which one first. I hope to get some sleep and clarity either one will be fine and have a great day at work and welcome my Ashley home from Choir tour and watch her sing!!!

Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong

Right now love is what we have got a lot at my house, not money, jobs, good health, but love. And time. I have really enjoyed being a little less busy. I often notice that God has a way with gently telling us to slow down. I may not have a lot but I have love from God and family and right now love is all I need!

Blame it on the Rain

You gotta blame it on something right? I am at the end of rope, despondent, depressed, frustrated and feeling guilty. I am thinking I might be crazy and that the pain is really nothing. I know they found something but it wasn't the true cause, now what? The pain is wearing and really only lets up when I am asleep so all I want to do is sleep but can't even do that as the pain wakes me up in the middle of the night. I wish I was smarter and could have more answers about my body, wish I would have taken better care of it not so many fast foods. I feel so guilty that my hubby has had to deal with me and the kids and his job not having enough work for him.
SO WHAT NOW!
Where do I go? I humble myself and give it all up. God is in control and He has a purpose if only to make me stronger or rely on Him or to rely on the people He puts in my life (that one makes me feel weak). I know it will all work out to His Glory and I will take it one hour at a time and know my family will give me grace.
So, today I blame it on the rain, cuz the rain don't mind.

Bust a Move

So wish I could bust a move but what I need to do is bust out of my 'poor me' mode. I need to think of others, forget that I am dealing and open my eyes and hearts to others. I need to be better! I wish it happened in a minute instead of over time. We had a fun Easter and the weather was so wonderful!

I got a glimpse of who I was yesterday and was not pleased and spent the most day a wreck, what a good night sleep does to ones outlook! I need to not be afraid to speak up, not continue in my anger (dealt with a family issue and feel so free), LOVE LIKE CHRIST!

I am excited for the next 2 tests to be over and to find out what is going on in my body and then I can really enjoy this early spring!

It's Our Anniversary

So our anniversary is really tomorrow but since we are having 28 people over to celebrate Christ rising from the dead we celebrated last night by going to a hotel and picking up Ashley from the airport this morning! It was fun even though I am still very much in pain and tired (I have a swollen pancreas due to a gall stone going through and can't eat real food yet). We chilled out and watched tv and movies and laughed and remember the last 13 years, married 12, dating a year before. We have grown and it so great that we are able to honest with each other and love being together even when I am a bummer and not feeling well.

So now to the Easter plans. I am so excited although not able to eat much but family, laughter and remember God's greatest gift His son will be awesome. I am so glad my family is whole again and that we have each other!

On a side note, I meet with a surgeon on Monday to see what the next step is, possibly the gall bladder out.