Saturday, January 31, 2015

Always something there to remind me

This week has been hard and the memories it has brought up have been hard.  Death is never easy.  I need to deal with it.  I need to come to terms with it, but it also brings up coming to terms with my past.

My roommate from college died.  I went through my messages with her in the last 15 years and found that we made peace and I never told her whole truths but we were moms walking through life.  We had a common ground.  I can't believe she is gone and yet glad she is not suffering anymore.  Praying for her family and glad I was so forgiving years ago and that we reconnected.  I have a few relationships that are strained right now and if these people were to go how would I feel?  I am not sure.  Asking God's guidance on this one.

My husband shared something with one of my kids today that I do not like.  It was about me and somewhat in defense of me but a truth I hate.  I truth I don't want in my life.  How do I deal with that?  I am not sure.  Giving it to God. Forgiving myself.  Letting it go.  I will tell how that is working later.