Holiness is What I Long For

I heard a wonderful, inspiring, humbling talk on how I need to get to the business of Christ. Of learning, loving, living like Him and to be obedient and follow Him and His Word. Does not sound new but it was refreshing and needed to hear of the renewal I need to make. I do get caught up in the need to feel happy, the need to feel comfortable, to not be stretched or go through any type of trouble.

I have friends that I love dearly that often ask me about the craziness of schedules and life and the needs of the kids and working and then the pain that I am dealing with and why I don't look as crazy as they feel. I respond with this is life. I am crazy and stressed and yell at my kids and all that bad stuff but I am content right now. (I can say that today). I don't know what life is like not planning it around someone else and quite frankly don't want to know for quite some time. I don't want to forget the struggles of life as I know that more will come and those that have been or I am going through will shape me, mold me hopefully into a more loving person.

I have been in prayer for many issues I don't have control over lately. I like control. I want to know what is happening next but not in this season of life is that going to happen. For the first time in a long time I am happy trusting that God is in control. Yeah for baby steps.

Happy To Be Stuck with You

Enjoying life with this man!

Video Killed the Radio Star

I am overwhelmed at how much technology as parents we need to monitor for our kids. I know most peoples response is don't let them have it and then you won't fight over it but it is not that easy. I work with youth and the only way to get a response is by facebook and texting. Why? I don't know. Half the time my daughter texts stuff she needs to call and get details anyway so why not start by calling? I don't know.

I actually think that there is too much access to people, information on the web. I think we all long for more physical or face to face contact. I love the feel of books and hope my children love them too. I have thought about this way too much.

Help, I need somebody!

I need advice or someone to remind me this is normal or say this too shall pass or something. I always hear that teenagers cause gray hair but I never believed it until now. I have a teenager who I love. She loves the Lord, she loves her family, she loves to do laundry (not clean her room though), all in all a great kid but she also loves to push the limits. We have to explain every option as to why we set a rule, what it really entails, what the meaning of the word after don't means. I am getting tired, old and gray doing all this so advice, words of wisdom, anything. Please help!

I do love her but want to not get after her everyday for texting in school or leaving school before it is over. These are not even my rules. I know that I could send her to the principal to deal with it but just not sure, maybe I am too picky. She has study hall last period that is why she left early one day after a make up test. She said she thought it was ok and my first thought was 'I am not sure you were thinking'.

I will wait for your comments and go get some hot tea while I wait. I am sure you all can fix this. :)

Behind these Hazel Eyes

Ok maybe they are brown or yellow or flecky, not a word. I am numb a bit about my appointment to Mayo tomorrow. My hubby is actually coming with me and the colors and day should be good but really what new I am going to learn about? I am still in pain. No one knows what it is for sure. My PT thinks it is a rib problem. No definite answer on if it will ever heal. Kind of a bummer huh? I hope for answers every time this time not so much. I hope to just not think about it anymore. Pretend it is gone.

Change is back in the air again in life in general. I should be used to it by now but never really do get used to it. I often wonder if I would be bored if it did not change. I guess I will never know.

Love the colors and here is another picture of my lovely weekend! The leaves were awesome!

Joyride

Went on an adventure this weekend only to find out a few things about myself. Things I knew, things I need to work on, things I have not thought about in years.

• I need to be who I am. I like who I am after many years of being unsure about that, not that I am perfect, not until heaven for that.


• I hate sharing my feelings. I hate being vunerable and end up sharing 'too much'. I did this weekend but my results are good, still have trust issues, waiting for someone I love to turn on me again. That is the fear.


• I have been brainwashed. I actually believe what a person told me for a year. Not all the time but when there is conflict in my marriage I believe it. I will be talking this out with someone who has a degree to help me as it is rooted somewhere deep in my head that I will never be good enough. Talking with God always brings me back to reality but would like to not go to this place in my brain anymore.


• I really like to have fun!

I loved the leaves and weather this weekend and still need a bit more sleep but what fun, can't wait to go back next year!