I hate confrontation! I HATE IT! I hate feeling small and not smart! I hate when people talk down to me! I hate that I don't have enough something to not break down and cry and then I look even more stupid! I hate finding out what people really think of me, even if they don't know me at all. I really hate crying in front of people. I wish that was something I grew out of, but it is not. Tomorrow will be better. Maybe the 'disconnect from my brain to my mouth' will be gone. Maybe I will get it right, maybe I can move on.
This is not how I work. When someone puts me in a corner I shrink and that relationship never stays the same. There have been a few exceptions, like with my hubby, kids, parents and close friends. I don't think I fight with people enough so I am not good at the aftermath.
These thoughts are all for me from today and I am sure I will come back and read them when I have diarrhea of the mouth again or when someone hurts me like today and at least know I have gotten through and will get through it again.
God is so good and He will show me where to go, just not quite as fast as I want sometimes, but His timing is perfect. His Love is perfect. His Forgiveness is perfect.
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