Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen!

It has taken me a bit to post this one. I am so happy my baby is growing to love the Lord and she now is a legal driver, but this is hard to say out loud. I have a 16 year old. What?!?

She had a great summer of ministry, friends, and on and off the boy she is standing with in the first picture.

She still loves her daddy, papa, nana, and mom, loves her brother and sister and still plays with them and overall is everything you want you in a kid but the time has gone by so fast. I don't want to miss a thing!

According to You

I must admit that I love secular music. I listen to just about any radio station out there for about 2 minutes at a time. I am a channel surfing which can be annoying but if I like a song it will stay on it for the duration. I love this song. It is about a girl who is in a relationship with someone who does not appreciate her and finds a guy who does. When it gets to the part for 'according to him' my mind changes it to 'according to Him'. I know the world sees me with all my flaws and really there are so many times I am the unappreciative boyfriend but according to God I am beautiful and He can't get me out of His head.
I need to remember that so that on the days which are more than not that I feel that I am worthless, He doesn't. I am just at low point to bring glory to Him, to find Him, to release my fears and insecurities to Him.

Circle of Friends

In a circle of friends
We have one Father
In a circle of friends
We share this prayer
That every orphaned soul will know
And all will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friends.

I don't actually know this song but the chorus looks great. I have been thinking about friendships and family in the eyes of God lately. I tend to look at those who are close friends as chosen family.

I have noticed a pattern in my church lately and I am sure it will always exist on some level now I just need to figure out how to fix it or not be a part of it. I have noticed that people go to my church and are a part of my 'family' and they are very lonely. People who have not been invited to my house but I talk to regularly is just not right. My Pastor said a few weeks ago that you can't be friends with everyone and I actually had to think on that and was so satisfied that it was true. BUT, I can do better. I can see the need for others to fellowship and to feel loved. I can actually do something about that. Maybe my gift is hospitality. I need to work on this one.

Hey Steven!

This is a song from Taylor Swift that I love. And, yes, I love this man! "Can't help it if there's no one else, ooo, I can't help myself!"

He has been so good to me and shown Christ in so many ways! What a man!

Get Up on Your Feet, Get up Get up Get Busy

Do you ever have a dream and are so in deep even when you wake up you are not sure it was dream or that it is over? This happened to me this week only in my real life when I was awake. I have been struggling with pain for about 6 months and it all seemed so trivial as my friend was diagnosed with cancer again. Time to get up and get busy praying for others, living for God and serving where He puts me!

Ain't That Crazy

This song talks about amazing love and how to keep it and how to never let your praying knees get lazy. It talks of human love, of how it can be but not told about much in the media nor papers. I mean, who wants to hear a story about a man and a woman who stay together for 58 years, through the good and the bad, the tough times and the dancing, the healthy times and the ill times.

I wish that this was more of the norm. Parents staying together, working hard, raising a family and loving like Christ. It just doesn't happen much, it is now abnormal.

I am unsure how to proceed in life right now. There are some decisions to make, not life changing, but choices, like looking for a house, letting go of my 16 year old to drive alone, accepting the love I am given by my family and friends (have been so bad at this choice and have chosen wrong many times lately), what mini congregation to be in and the insignificant list goes on. I hate making decisions and yet want to be in control. I don't even understand that one. The few choices I am making is to listen more, be more hospitable, and take it easy until I feel better. That last one just came to me. It will take a while until I get used to it but I know I must listen to my hubby and do what the PT guy says and then rest. I will try. That is the only decision I will make tonight.

It's My Life

I need to reclaim back my life with or without pain. I know that is way easy to say but I need to try and maybe the fair will help :). The doctors have no answers and I am now on no medications for the pain so I need to move on and just live. No more hiding behind it. People will still eat the food I cook them if I have to lay down while they eat it and those people that God has put on my heart to connect with have waited long enough.

I can still stay up late, just because I have pain does not make me 80 (the fact I need a crown makes me old). I can be spontaneous, I can't spell it but I can be it. I can admit that the pain is making me crazy and know that I am not crazy. I can love like I should have been this whole time, with God's love, through God's eyes. I need to get back to who I am and want to be even if I might be a little slower or not as loud. Ok maybe I will always be loud, but this time was enough for me to have off of the real things that are important, back to life, Brenda, it is time with all the pain, but now with more resolve to live through it instead of waiting for it to go away.