Jesus Bring the Rain

Sometimes I forget how good I have it. I need to be reminded of how good God is, Steve is, my kids are, my life is. How easy it is and be thankful and praise Him. That was last night the rain to praise Him, to get on my knees and acknowledge Who is in charge and why I am so happy I am not!

When You Wish Upon A Star

These children are way beyond what I have wished for! They teach me about God, myself and love every day! I am now boasting in the Lord as it is totally a God thing! Thank you Lord for my blessings! Protect them, help me to let them grow and not squelch who they are becoming! Let me take each day as a gift, not a task or a job as I often see it, not a burden as it often feels, but as love from God above.

Hold On

I am a bit discontent. The theme of my life at times, but it is a season. It usually starts with my hair. How silly but true. I hate my hair right now. I feel like Bette Midler in 'Beaches' who always hates her hair. I don't always hate my hair but when it is growing out, bangs, growing longer or just needs to be reshaped, I get down. My hair has this ability to make me look at things more half empty. Crazy, really.

I want to be bold, be dramatic, be different and yet I am so happy to be where I am. I like who I am, had to explain that to my hubby the other day. I do have such a changed outlook on myself that he did not get how much BETTER I am than I once was. In High School my self-esteem depended on others, now I like who I am but know I am a work in progress, hopefully getting better at least yearly :)

I am laughing now which is a good thing, laughing at myself. Life is good and I am praying for those who are not at a good place right now. I watch as people go through some hard times, hard choices and feel helpless. I need to be content that we are doing so well right now, no major illnesses, no money issues this moment, a nice house, warm even, cars that run, family that laughs together, has plenty to eat, that loves each other, that knows True Love, that wants to be more like Christ. I sure have got a lot to hold on to even if I have a bad hair month.

Patience

I need patience for a situation that has been uncertain for about 13 years. I think I have been patient. I think I have waited for the situation to change, for my feelings to change, for some good to come, for the light to shine and still we are at square one. I know that I can not change people, I can not make them see how they really are or ask them to be something they are not.

I so need to let go and let God. I don't know how to be still and wait. I want to fix it, I want to act, I want things to look different, to be different, to be part of the solution not the problem or to have started the problem.

Deep breath, soon I can move on to forgetting this situation, soon we can just be.

Living in a Material World

So, I was thinking about how I did not like the cheap toilet paper I bought. I bought it because it was cheap and my family deserves better toilet paper. I actually thought this, about how MY family deserves a great quality toilet paper. Not how my family needs water, food, shelter, cars, entertainment. No because we have all these things but on top of all that we need the toilet paper that those bears have on tv. What a world. I know we have to sometimes think about meaningless, non-Christ centered things, but a lot of my time is wasted by junk, stuff, luxury.

That makes me laugh. I have never lived the glamorous lifestyle. I love that I can even be considered middle class after being on welfare for a few years. But I do live in luxury. I do have it great. Prov. 22:1-2 God is good!

I Get So Emotional Baby!

The ups and downs of womanhood + rain and cold weather = strange mommy. What a week! Change is in the air! I need to deal well with change, I need to accept it, expect it, embrace it. It is going to happen in so many levels of my life, it seems almost daily it does.

I really want to be organized this season and yet I am still missing some gene that holds the DNA for that. I need to be happy, content with who I am and what gifts God has given me (working on finding those gifts). Yes, it has been one of those weeks. Not a crying, woe is me week but a huh? what is going on? week.

Now, any ideas on what I should be for Halloween? I have my 'Ugly Betty' outfit that I have not worn yet, but any other ideas?