Monday, October 20, 2008
Always something There to Remind Me
I am sure that living 4 houses away from where I grew up and having my daughter in the same high school I went to and having most of the same friends I have since high school makes me remember high school. What I don't remember is fighting and defying my parents as a teen. Now I did sneak phone calls after hours, but not on a regular basis. Help me remember why we broke the rules - was it to see what we could get away with or was it because we are sinful by nature? I need to know some stories so I don't think my teen is so abnormal. She just seems to be pushing it lately. Any thoughts?
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5 comments:
I think there are a lot of reasons. One guess: Adolescents are preparing themselves to be autonomous, on their own and making their own decisions. So they have an urge to try to differentiate themselves from their parents. It's a way to prepare themselves for what's ahead as they naturally leave home and start making their own lives. Unfortunately, at this age, they also think they're more mature than they are, so it gets tricky. I think it's "normal" (fortunately or unfortunately!) for A to get into conflicts with you. Hang in there, though--this will pass for all of you (eventually)!
Thanks Rach!
My only thought on this is that I have thought the same thing many times. Although I don't have teenagers yet, but when I do see teenagers around acting immature and irresponsible my first thought is, "I never acted like that." I do remember not listening to my parents but I don't feel like I consciously directly disobeyed my parents. But I am sure that if you asked them they would have a different story. I guess maybe that is just part of growing (both on the teenager and parent's part). However, I think that relationships and maturity are a constant thing that is developing. I sure know that I'm not perfect now and I could do a lot better with my relationships.
I remember being afraid of my mom and of getting in trouble, but I also remember doing things that were wrong and thinking it was no big deal. When I got caught (talking on the phone over an hour instead of our 1/2 hour limit, or staying out too late) I would be so embarassed I wouldn't react to my mom at all. Christian does this to me and I think he doesn't think what he did was wrong. On the contrary, he probably thinks like I did, that he's sorry he disobeyed but at the time he thought it wasn't important.
Later I would stay out all night and I even tried to skip High School once. We trespassed around closed buildings and my friends' friends smoked pot. So while that was pretty heavy stuff, me and my friends did have a line we didn't cross. I wasn't trying to stick it in my parent's faces. It wasn't personal with my mom at all. I truely thought it wasn't a big deal or didn't matter until I got caught. Then it was a big deal because I was really afraid of my mom and of disapointing her.
Great perspective Leah!
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