Raise Your Hands Up and Shout

I think that I have been comfortably numb for some time now. Knowing that silence and listening is better than putting my foot in my mouth when I speak out of anger or treatment that I feel is unjust. I know God is in control and rely on that only yet not really engaging in anything. I have friends and love my family but I feel as though I have been a spectator, attending events, making an appearance but not being vulnerable at all. I have a couple people I rely on with most things but really don't want them to know that for awhile I have felt nothing.

That stopped over the weekend. I sat in Sunday School class and the verses we were going over were ones that hurt me in the past. Ones I had to struggle with now as I failed my first marriage and see how all that ties into my daughter's life - the fallout. I also see how God's plan is for good and not evil, in marriage, in parenting, in jobs. It all came together for me in a few short verses that no longer haunt me.

I feel so much more now that I broke out of my numb state and am dealing with the anger better as I can see keeping it at bay was really good. Now I want to engage again. We will see if that happens.

I'm So Glad I'm a Part of the Family of God

Family. I love my family, even my loud, pesky older brother. I love the moments we get together with the in-laws. I love my husband and my kids. I have been very thankful for the family God has given me, mostly because they are all His gift. They are family through His blood and not by anything earthly. I love that. It ties my whole world together.