Kung Fu Fighting

Just starting with title I am in a better mood but I need to vent, so if you don't want to hear my pity party please don't read. I feel like I am angry a lot about not having control over the circumstances I am in right now. Ready to fight, but for what. Taking it out on the wrong people, sorry, honey. My house is under construction as we are redoing a bathroom. My job is under construction as we look for a new youth pastor. My family is under construction as we look to new changes. I want to control something and as I type this I realize nothing is mine to control.

I know that God is in control. Just like the season change so will things in our lives but God will always be in control and not let us go through things He knows we can't handle. I am learning. Very slowly. Learning that I am still being molded, maturing, and it makes me more thirsty for things of God. That is the point to bask in His glow and then to reflect Him. I am getting it and letting go.

Love Me Tomorrow

I love this weather, not so much v-day stuff. I don't need a day to know I am loved and definately don't need more chocolate(love it though). I do need to hear that I am loved. The things you learn about yourself as you learn about your kids and the way they need to feel loved. Two of ours needs physical touch, whether wrestling, a pat on the head, or snuggling. One needs words of affirmation (me too!) and needs to hear we appreciate them. I am not huge on physical touch. I held these kids until they could walk. I thought that was enough, but even my 16 year old needs to rest on my shoulder now and again. I appreciate it so much more now and am so much more intentional about it as they will eventually leave the house.
Anyway, this day is beautiful weather wise and fun sugarwise and a good day. Thank you Lord for the good days.

Boom Boom Pow

I do like this song just not live in the middle of a game by the Packers. It was not fun to see that they don't sound like you think they should and then I wondered how much they got paid to do this song. It kinda made me sick.

Loved that the Packers won and that I had a fun night with my friends and ate too much and the salt made me sick even the next day. I am glad for that as it means I don't eat like that everyday. Still have a headache.

Liking how this week is starting. Really wish it was warmer! Someday!

It's a New Day, It's a New Life

I am so glad for each new beginning. I seem to get a lot wrong lately and need a new start more often than not. I love that I learn something new about myself, my kids, my hubby and mostly my Lord each day with each experience. Today I learned that my hubby loves me even when I feel unlovable, my kids don't really notice if I am a mess and that God uses people to sharpen us.

Right now is a new moment and I am going to take it and use it the way God wants me to and not let my fears hold me back.

On another note, I so am ready for a new warm day.

Got Me Looking so Crazy Right Now

There are few things that keep me up at night. At my age we are tired by the time we roll into bed and my brain can be shut off for things of no consequence, such as the laundry not being done or where did I put that thing. However, when it comes to my kids hurting I want to fix it. I want to fix it now, make sure it never happens again and keep them from ever feeling this way again. That keeps me up.
I do give it to the Lord and have prayed over many things for my children. I pray for them to know God personally and grow in Him. I pray that they love like Him. I pray that they see the world as a sinful place where God reveals Himself daily. I pray for their friends, for their future spouses, to lean on the Lord for the big decision and to not grow up too fast. (the last one is more for me).
I want the school they go to, church we attend, people we hang with to be like minded with the knowledge that everyone is human and that some things are great practice for the real world beyond the house they live in now. I know I can't control any of the places but wish to have some say on how it is done.
Right now the bullying issue is going on daily for one of my kids. I need the authorities that be to help and hope that this happens this week. The teaching of sarcasm or belittling is something I will not put up with either. Kids get enough that from tv, each other and don't need to learn how to talk down to people in a different venue.
My problem is that I don't know how to be proactive about these things without being crazy. I know that love is crazy, Christ showed us that, but I need to be an adult, check myself before I wreck myself and gather my thoughts and present my concerns in a way honoring to God. I am not sure that is going to happen with the issues that are going right now. We will see.

Party Like it's 1999

So happy for a date night with my hubby! So happy to be excited for it, not just looking at it as another thing on the calendar! Woohoo!

Voice of Truth

I must admit, I am having a hard time discerning the truth right now. Am I just getting upset because things are getting uncomfortable or that they are not uncomfortable enough? I believe things are black and white in most areas but when they are gray, not spelled out for me in the Bible, where do I turn? Who do I trust?

I believe in a God who created the world. The God of the Old and New Testament. The God who gives and takes away all for His glory. He is the One, the great I AM, The Father to Jesus Christ, the Three in One. He treats His people with love but like a Father and teaches us as we need to be taught. He is merciful and yet judging, loving, yet jealous. He wants us to worship Him at all times, but still expects us to live on this earth.

How do I live, work everyday, cherish my kids, love my husband and keep Him number one? The word idol worship is what brought this rant up. I am not worshiping money or my house or feeding my kids if I work. I am doing what God asked us to and trying to do it while glorifying God. I don't worship my husband, he is not my Savior, but I am called to be his helpmate, his wife and I love him. He is not my idol if I go out on a date with him and not spend that time in prayer. If I am wrong, show me Lord.

I really thought that after being in a Baptist college and after years of people getting it is the relationship with Christ that matters and not the religion I would not hear the 'Thou shalt not' perspective of being a Christian over and over again. I agree that we all have idols that take our focus off God but if we are always worried about what we are doing wrong and our sinful nature isn't that an idol also?

I can hear His voice saying to follow Him, not man. Get the log out of your own eye and focus on me. Get over your rant, it is not glorifying anyone. I will listen to Him. The Voice of Truth.