All In (letting go)

Here is the Toby Mac song that I am so feeling today!
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
Why's it always circumstantial?
Never any real potential
Obvious and so sequential
It always ends the same
Holding out with all that's in me
Is it worth all this pretending?
A story with an ugly ending it's never worth the pain
So right here and now I am all in
[Chorus]Cause I'm letting go of everything I am
And I'm holding on to everything You are
I'm letting go of everything I once was I'm all in
I'm fallin' into Your arms again
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
Can we just wait out the weather?
I could stay right here forever
Got to get myself together
Real life is on the way
Call it my foregone conclusion
I'll always welcome Your intrusion
You're the master of my choosing
I'm all Yours
This time I'm so for real
It's time I sealed the deal
Shut down my lame appeals
I'm letting go I'm letting go
I'll throw caution to the sky
Kiss all my fears goodbye
This time its do or die
I'm letting go

Wake Me Up Before You Go

Man, am I tired today! I know I have a good month before I get all my energy back but I feel like I could sleep until spring!! Long weekends do that to me though. Glad to see the cold letting up a bit - sad that I think the teens are warm.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

It is amazing to me how many times when your kids are 10 and under you hold their hands. Now that I have a 13 year old I don't get to do that as much and every once in awhile she grab my hand in church or grab Steve's hand in the mall and we both just breathe those moments in. Cherish every needy moment your kids give you as you will look back at it so foundly and always remember what that little hand inside yours feels like.

This emotion was started by V's posts and I am so excited for the day she holds her daughters tiny little hand!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

I am going to a funeral today for a neighbor whose mom and dad died earlier this week. Yep, both died in the same day. His mom has been dying for awhile and went peacefully and his dad went back to his room and had a heart attack and died. I call that dying of a broken heart. They had been married 66 years and our neighbor, who I have known since birth, is their only son.

I know sometimes I need to be reminded how good I have it even in my worst times. Hey, I could still be a single mom scraping by or worse still in Texas.

I know He watches me.

Don't Let Me Get Me

It has been a low week for me. I got my reviews this week and even though my bosses think I am doing o.k. it is always hard to hear how much better you can be doing.
So, here is my Pink song for me today -

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else,
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin
A day in the life of someone else?

I don't feel like this always, but this moment I relate.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

My kids are unable to have pets as my son is allergic to most dander known to man. He is getting better and last night we were at a house with 3 dogs. These dogs have not met kids very often and were eager and scared to meet them and went for them. Gracie and Mikey ended up crying and it put a damper on what was a fun eveving of fellowship and service (my hubby did some wiring stuff). I have always feared dogs but have tried real hard to get over it before the kids came. These dogs were small dogs so they did not scare me, but the were still over half my kids size when the jumped up so I understand.

Regrets I've Had A Few

I guess this is the week of humbling for me. I need to look at myself and see if I am ok with who I have become and quit looking back. I don't think I was one of the mean girls but maybe oblivious and egocentric (weren't all teenagers?). I know now that I am have not yet become who I want to be.

• I want to be confident.
• I want to be loving at all times.
• I want to be satisfied with what I have.

Things to work on.