I Always Feel Like Somebodies Watching Me

This one will stick in your head. :) So, my family has had some health issues within the past 12 months and someone asked me yesterday if I felt there was Spiritual oppression in my house. When I was I kid I lived around the block and there was a murder/suicide in our house we own now. When we moved in I prayed over the house, but not to rid of anything, just of things to come. Some relatives said we should all pray over it and now this comment - I am not sure what to think. Everything we have had illness wise has been fixed. What do you think?

Here and Now

So, in my devotions today I ready about how I am supposed to focus on today and not worry about tomorrow. Good verses as I am worried about Ashley have the endoscopy on Friday and Gracie going to the ENT on Thursday and finding out why she has had a sore throat for 6 weeks. I will focus on today for I am sure it will have enough for me to think about!

Girls Just Wanna have Fun

So, after a very relaxing weekend I am off to be with Laura for some coffee and cookies (made by my loving husband). I so enjoy seeing this lady about once a week for the last 9 years. We have taken time off for kids and such but we try hard to keep our visits frequent. How fun!

Let's Get Physical

Despite what this song really means I am talking about the dr. My daughter is now heading to the dr. to see what has been bothering her since Thanksgiving. We hope we can pinpoint it soon she has had stomach issues for too long.
I used to so look forward to Friday's but now my day off is on Tuesday and we will see how I like it. It makes sense to have me in the office on my bosses' day off to represent them so if I am able to accomplish a lot it may work out better in the long run.
Looking forward to a weekend that has very little on the schedule. It seems since Christmas every night has had something and just chillin' seems great.

All In (letting go)

Here is the Toby Mac song that I am so feeling today!
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
Why's it always circumstantial?
Never any real potential
Obvious and so sequential
It always ends the same
Holding out with all that's in me
Is it worth all this pretending?
A story with an ugly ending it's never worth the pain
So right here and now I am all in
[Chorus]Cause I'm letting go of everything I am
And I'm holding on to everything You are
I'm letting go of everything I once was I'm all in
I'm fallin' into Your arms again
I'am letting go
I'am letting go
Can we just wait out the weather?
I could stay right here forever
Got to get myself together
Real life is on the way
Call it my foregone conclusion
I'll always welcome Your intrusion
You're the master of my choosing
I'm all Yours
This time I'm so for real
It's time I sealed the deal
Shut down my lame appeals
I'm letting go I'm letting go
I'll throw caution to the sky
Kiss all my fears goodbye
This time its do or die
I'm letting go

Wake Me Up Before You Go

Man, am I tired today! I know I have a good month before I get all my energy back but I feel like I could sleep until spring!! Long weekends do that to me though. Glad to see the cold letting up a bit - sad that I think the teens are warm.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

It is amazing to me how many times when your kids are 10 and under you hold their hands. Now that I have a 13 year old I don't get to do that as much and every once in awhile she grab my hand in church or grab Steve's hand in the mall and we both just breathe those moments in. Cherish every needy moment your kids give you as you will look back at it so foundly and always remember what that little hand inside yours feels like.

This emotion was started by V's posts and I am so excited for the day she holds her daughters tiny little hand!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

I am going to a funeral today for a neighbor whose mom and dad died earlier this week. Yep, both died in the same day. His mom has been dying for awhile and went peacefully and his dad went back to his room and had a heart attack and died. I call that dying of a broken heart. They had been married 66 years and our neighbor, who I have known since birth, is their only son.

I know sometimes I need to be reminded how good I have it even in my worst times. Hey, I could still be a single mom scraping by or worse still in Texas.

I know He watches me.

Don't Let Me Get Me

It has been a low week for me. I got my reviews this week and even though my bosses think I am doing o.k. it is always hard to hear how much better you can be doing.
So, here is my Pink song for me today -

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else,
Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin
A day in the life of someone else?

I don't feel like this always, but this moment I relate.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

My kids are unable to have pets as my son is allergic to most dander known to man. He is getting better and last night we were at a house with 3 dogs. These dogs have not met kids very often and were eager and scared to meet them and went for them. Gracie and Mikey ended up crying and it put a damper on what was a fun eveving of fellowship and service (my hubby did some wiring stuff). I have always feared dogs but have tried real hard to get over it before the kids came. These dogs were small dogs so they did not scare me, but the were still over half my kids size when the jumped up so I understand.

Regrets I've Had A Few

I guess this is the week of humbling for me. I need to look at myself and see if I am ok with who I have become and quit looking back. I don't think I was one of the mean girls but maybe oblivious and egocentric (weren't all teenagers?). I know now that I am have not yet become who I want to be.

• I want to be confident.
• I want to be loving at all times.
• I want to be satisfied with what I have.

Things to work on.

She Works Hard for Her Money

What a day yesterday! I am glad it is over! I know that it will always be work and that I will always need to improve.

Anyway, I will be happy because today is payday and I can once again feel like I contribute to the family!! Yeah for money or work would be icky!

Hold up Wait a minute!

My body told me it is time to back off so I am back to the couch today to get ready for a full week of life. I never thought that a Wii could make muscles ache, but it did! :) It was so fun and I beat the people that ALWAYS win at games! No, I am not competitive but sometimes you just want to win. You get one turn with these people when you play Pictionary as they finish before you get the second so winning was fun.

The time of my life

So, I have walked down memory lane and saw how wonderful God has provided in the present in one day. I am down today as I feel so icky but yesterday was good. I got a hair cut, met with my sister-in-law for a few hours, met with someone I have needed to catch up with for years and feel I need 5 more lunches like that, and had dinner with friends that make me feel young (although I tried on jeans and can not wait to work out again!). It was a good day and I hope to have that again soon.

Informer

So, my boss caught me carrying a chair yesterday and I got in big trouble and now am paying in blood and pain for it!! I will learn someday! Looking forward to a painfree February.

I'm so excited

I am really ready to see what it will be like to be at work again. We will see how well I do. I can't sleep so I know that will affect me. I just watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants". I always relate best to the minorities - funny as I don't see myself as one most of the time. It made me think would I want to go back and be young again? What do you think?
I know I want to be fun again but not young.

It's the Final Countdown

The dr. said I am a bit behind on recovery and gave me 2 more weeks of pain and 6 more weeks of fatigue, but now the countdown is on as I am healed mostly. I am so excited to get back to normal and even go to work. Surprise, Surprise, Surprise.

Back to life - back to reality

I hope that I will be able to be back to normal (or as normal as I get) after my appointment tomorrow. I am excited to make plans and go back to work and be out of the house. I did go out for a girls overnight with Laura over Christmas break and that was great but I am so tired from it. I hope my energy returns soon!